Hurricane

I hate the emotional days. The ones where my heart feels like it is just too wrong for this world and I can’t stand to see the things that are going wrong in my country. The days where it overwhelms me thinking about what the future may hold and if I am wasting a huge amount of time and money going to college to get a piece of paper that may end up meaning nothing.

I hate the days where the only thing I want is to just be back in the hospital I was in for a week because everything was so simple there. Everyone had problems there and it was so easy to actually relax and try to get better because I had no weight on my shoulders. I could listen to the people there and give them feedback and guidance and I never had a worry that I was missing something over my head, or that something was about to happen that I was forgetting about or was unprepared for. I feel like I will be living my life waiting till I can retire to a retirement place where the only worries I have is if I have enough good books to read and if I make it to the cafeteria in time to have breakfast.

All I want is a simple life filled with simple things like being able to enjoy a really good book after a really nice shower, but there is a fire in me that never lets me rest and a hope in me that maybe one day I could make an impact on the world and all of these things in my head leaves me feeling like I am on the verge of exploding or melting or something.

A hurricane lives in me and I don’t know if I should live my life inside a cellar waiting for the eternal storm to pass or if I should spend my wings and learn to ride the winds that can carry me to bigger and better places.

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2 thoughts on “Hurricane

  1. Listen to “Ride the wind” by Poison. Not all the lyrics might apply, but the overall resounding focus might. Our heads are full of many thoughts, swirling around and driving us in crazy directions. As time goes on we fill it with more and more as life experiences begin to complete us. I can say take the time to make those quiet moments of meditation that you long for as they will allow you a powerful heart strong enough to get you through the storms. Life truly is what you live it. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, don’t be afraid to go after the things you want. Don’t wake up 20 years from now and realize where have I been all my life!

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    1. Sorry, Life has been busy here. Thank you for the comment! I’ve heard that song when I was little, I believe, but I never knew what it was called so thank you! I really like everything you said and completely agree with all of it! It is nice to hear encouragement to chase things that almost seem out of reach!

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